Ian as Hired Help

[The costume in this story was designed entirely by Ian...although Mommy did have something to say about the Binky as a prop.]


"You called a cleaning service, Ma'am?"

"Don't worry. We bring our own supplies."

"Don't mind my partner. I'm training him. Are you getting this, Jake? It's all in the wrist."

"Take notes if you want, Jake. A proper sweep technique makes all the difference."

"Phew! Break time!"

"I don't know why he's yawning...I did all the work."

"Ok, Jake, now comes the tricky part. Getting the client to pay the bill. Make sure you look respectable and say, 'peeease'."

"Thank, ma'am! Pleasure doing business with you!"

"No one can resist these cheeks!"

Ian and the Zoo

"WAHOO!!! I'm at the zoo! In the sunshine! In February!"

"If I was a little taller, I could climb in there and join them."

"Mommy says 'No climbing into the monkey cage!'. Party pooper."

"Grandma, look how cute I am! Will you let me climb into the monkey cage? Pleeeeeeease?"

"Grandma didn't fall for that one. Maybe I can find a secret entrance."

"HOLY COW!!!! THERE IS A MOP HERE!!! This zoo is AWESOME!"

"WHOA!"

"Check this out! A snake! Can we bring it home, Mom?"

"If I smile really nicely for this picture, can I have a pet snake?"

"This is a nice one! But what does 'poisonous' mean?"

"Grandma, look at that bear! Rooooaaar!"

"Bears are cool. Can I have a bear?"

"Hmmmm...Mommy didn't buy me a pet snake, or a bear or let me climb in the monkey house. But I got to spend the whole day with Grandma. Which means I had a great day. Thanks, zoo!"

How to Give Dad a Great Birthday Weekend

"Start the day by convincing Mommy to make blueberry pancakes with whip cream and strawberries.

It is not hard to convince Mommy that this is a brilliant idea."

"Take Dad to his favorite museum and show him the elephants.
Spend the rest of the day spitting on anyone who asks what sound an elephant makes."

"Tell Dad that the Stegosaurus is a genus of stegosaurid armoured dinosaur from the Late Jurassic period."

"Show your pet dinosaur his ancestor."

"Compare you foot size to a dinosaurs and decide neither is as big as Dad's foot size."

"Learn about Ceratopsians.
Press button over and over again to make sure it is sturdy."

"Find giant Dinosaur bone and try to take it home for Jake."

"Take a two second break for a family picture before racing to see more dinosaurs."


"Agree with Dad that science is really cool."



"Consider, then reject, the notion of taking a nap in the nice comfy chairs.
Spend another ten minutes convincing Mommy that she doesn't want to take a nap either."

"With Mommy's help, make a great birthday cake."



"Sing Happy Birthday"

"Decide you have the best daddy in the whole world."

How to "Throw" a Party

The host.

The guest.

"We're having a tea party!!!
Although Daddy says we should call it a 'Beer Bash' instead of a tea party."

"Mmmmm! This tea tastes just like chocolate milk!"

"Here! Try some!"

"Garçon! A little more of that chocolate milk tea, please!"

"I'm such a good host!"

"WHAT???? You DON'T LIKE chocolate milk tea?!"

'

"PARTY'S OVER, MONKEY!!!"

How To Brush Your Teeth

"Brusha, Brusha, Brusha!"

"Brusha, Brusha, Brusha."

"AHHHHH!!! DID I GET EVERYTHING?"

"Perfect. I have to have clean teeth for my bedtime kisses!"

Ian Takes Care of Himself

"What's that, Mommy? There's a bunch of chocolate hand prints all over the fridge?"

"OH. MY. GOSH! There's a mess on the floor!"

"Who could have done this? Don't worry! I'll investigate!"

"My investigation has revealed the culprit...chocolate syrup!"

"I have an innocent face! It was the chocolate syrup's fault!"

"See. This is all I wanted. Don't you love it when I'm self sufficient!"

"Three cheers for chocolate milk!